Bi-polar · Boyfriend · Lithium

I feel amazing

I had a hard time waking up this morning, so I didn’t make my 6:30 AA meeting, nor did I make it to the office today, but I’m working from home. I am so happy, sort of euphorically happy. It’s amazing. I feel like I should be doing 8 million things. I am so scared that I’m cycling up and going to crash, but I’m trying to push that to the back of my mind and just enjoy the good mood that I’m in.

I started on the 1200mg of Lithium, so maybe that’s doing what it’s supposed to do and I’m in a good mood for a change. I don’t know what it is, but I’m loving it. I’ve cleaned the kitchen, changed the sheets on my bed, taken care of all my bills and personal adulting that I was putting off.

I plan to go to the gym after work. Yeah I signed up for a gym membership. I’ve been reading a lot about bipolar and a lot of people say that exercise helps them to feel better, so I figured I’d give it a try. I went last week, but I didn’t make it to the work out area, just got signed up.

I have to take my daughter shopping tonight too and instead of dreading the fact that I have to leave the house, I’m actually looking for ward to it. I wish time was moving a little faster so I could be done with work and go and get her. Then I’m going to a women’s AA meeting and then I will hit the gym. I have a busy night.

I’ve had music on all morning and I’m dancing along and singing. I’m telling you, I just feel amazing. I’ve let my mom know she can stop worrying; I seem to be on the up side. I let my boyfriend know.

I feel bad my boyfriend won’t get to see me in this good mood as Monday nights I always spend apart from him because I go to that AA meeting, and I always miss him. We had a really great weekend. After fighting for four days we made up and it was great. I don’t feel like running away from him at the current moment and I woke up to this note:

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I’m thankful for this good mood, and I’m scared, but I hope it lasts. I’ll enjoy it while I have it. Bipolar is some fucked up shit when you’re scared of a good mood. I’m just going to try to embrace it.

I hope you’re all having as great of a day as I am.

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