There is an I Am Not Anonymous movement going around that sparked my interest. This has always been an area in my life where I don’t know which way to bend. I want to be able to speak for other alcoholics and help other alcoholics, but to what expense. What does the world really think of alcoholics?
I’ve told my employer. I have this blog, but I don’t tell anyone about this blog, but it’s here. It’s my little safe zone for a while and then I get nervous someone I know will find it and see inside my head, but then I want other people to see inside my head so that they may not feel so alone if they have a head that functions the same way as I do. I want others to know they’re not alone. I’ve always wanted that.
When I find something that makes me feel as if I’m not alone in this world with my crazy brain, I feel better. I want to make someone else feel better. I want to do my 12th step work all the time, but it’s easier to do from the comfort of my living room, in front of a computer.
I told my employer because I was in a situation that was making it tough to stay sober. I haven’t had any repercussions of telling my employer, but I always wonder if they’re thinking about it. I always wonder if it’s in the back of their mind.
I told my boyfriend’s family. That was a necessity. I couldn’t handle being around them when they were drinking all the time and I was running out of excuses as to why I needed to leave early. It’s made them more understanding of why I do some of the things I do.
My family all know. My friends all know. I speak of it easily on Facebook. Would I walk up to a stranger and introduce myself as “Hi, I’m an alcoholic and my name is Julie” I don’t think so. It’s not necessary information to have right away, but if you ask me, I will tell you.
I will tell you so that if you’re hurting, you can know you aren’t hurting alone. I will tell you because if you’re struggling, you can know you’re not struggling alone. I’ll even give you my phone number and let you know you can call me any time you’re struggling.
It’s a scary world out there and people are rather judgmental, so I won’t wear a badge on my sleeve, but I’ll put the AA unity sticker on the back of my car so that if you see me and you know what it means, you know you’re not alone.